Five month funk

We've done this relocation thing twice now.  All for good reason, but good reason doesn't make it any easier for me.

This second time around is going pretty similar to the first.  I've hit the tough transition phase.  The point where you don't have anybody else aside from your own Mr. to rely on, and with 4 littles that is tough.

The first few months are busy.  Figuring out where to grocery shop, finding things to do, checking out all the new parks, getting kids signed up in school/activities, finding childcare, getting into the groove of a new job.  But then 5 months hit.

The 5 month funk.

The point after a move where you aren't the new girl in town.  This isn't just a vacation.  Nope.  You are here, in the middle of no-where Mississippi, and staying.  This isn't a rental house, it is your home.  Your mortgage, and you aren't leaving.  And peeking back through old photos of there, or there, and especially there just tears at your heart a bit.  That point in time when you yearn to be anywhere but here.  Yeah, the 5 month funk.

But this 5 month funk was further compounded because I let a job application get me excited.  Too excited.  OSU had two openings, one in Paul's field, and one in mine.  We applied.  Then when they extended the interview to me, I got even more excited - looking online for houses, dreaming about running on those trails, or playing at that park - you know that sort of excited.  So, so stupid.

So I think it goes without saying, the phone interview with OSU today - a total doozy.

I use the term "interview" very loosely.

It was 10 minutes long.  Seriously.  They didn't even ask me anything about myself, just two very structured HR type of questions about diversity, and how I work with difficult team members.  Basically a formality.  I was most likely one of the required phone interviews the search committee has to conduct before beginning the campus interviews.  I hung up, cried, and let the brutal reality set in... that clearly I'm not one of the campus interview choices.  

Disappointment crept in.

Hope of returning to Oregon this fall, gone.

I know it isn't up to me, where we end up.  I've tried to keep the whole bloom where you land mindset. But I'm tired of landing temporarily.  I'm ready to be settled, you know.  Ready to raise my kids, create a home, build a solid support system of people, make friends - good friends. 

Create stability.

So, in an effort to create stability, I am claiming an end to the five month funk.  

So here is to moving forward.  To finding happiness, here, in Mississippi.  And damn it, if I can't find it, then I'll create it.  

happiness, here:

First step - finding a different job that allows me more time at home.  One that ISN'T night shift, and isn't 7 days straight of working.  I'm a wife/mama first, and the past 3 months I've felt so far removed from these rolls, and I just cannot take another minute of it.  So, if I can't be there then I'll make here, the best here that I can.  

Step two - find a home more suited for these crazy Loprinzi kiddos.  Less fancy, more kid focused - back yard, swing set, open floor plan.  If I'm gonna dream, then dream big - right?!  

Step three - book a ticket to Oregon.  Because after 4 years, I'm ready to squeeze my dad and baby sister.  

So that is that.