Date day

Today was date day.  Date day with my Mr. and ultrasound date day.

I started off the morning, bright and early.

We had our anatomy ultrasound for Little Loprinzi #4 (more on that later), followed by date day: 

First Stop for date day: Louisville Slugger Museum

Paul batted in the cages, 20 pitches, and he looked pretty snazzy smacking those baseballs

 

He took a cheese-ball touristy picture with Babe Ruth.

There was a random arcade/nintendo exhibit in the museum.  Paul and I talked about playing the nintendo and Super Nintendo growing up…now it is like a collectors item.  They had a ginormous nintendo game control to play on.  Paul got schooled, but looked sexy doing it.  Then we raced on a race care game, I got 29th, he got 24th…so we realized we are not good at gaming/arcade lifestyle, but it was fun anyway.

Outside the museum there is a ginormous replica bat, and despite the single digit weather, he posed for  picture, and I practically laid my pregnant self on the freezing pavement in an attempt to get the entire bat in the picture.

After we at lunch at a fancy place - the kind that takes your jacket at the door (but I kept mine because it felt like 3 degrees outside today, so I never got warm, ever) and they even also had a fancy umbrella holder at the door too.  Both evidence that we were out of our element.  A bit above our Taco Bell standard of lunch, but perfect for our celebratory, special day.  We toasted over Coca Cola in fancy glasses, because we are classy like that.  Then we reminisced about how far we've come and promised to make time for just him and I more once grad school isn't all consuming.  This man, oh how I love his company, I am so blessed I get a lifetime with him.

 All good things must come to an end, and so after lunch we went back to Bellarmine, because Paul had to teach, and I needed to study (I have an exam tomorrow, and should really be studying for that, instead of doing this…)

Now back to the ultrasound…

In the OB office waiting room Paul discovered he had one solo gray eyebrow hair, and complained about it because he is only 31.  We giggled uncontrollably, and I tried to get photographic evidence of the gray fella, but it wouldn't show up on my phone camera.  It is there, probably as a result of the single daddy duty he has been pulling since the start of this crazy busy term.  

I got good news, that my insurance policy doesn't suck as bad as I thought…$267 out of pocket (our pocket that is) cost for my OB prenatal visits and the OB portion of the hospital delivery isn't too shabby.  

Then they called my name.  

The first picture of the anatomy scan was the money shot, but since I'm not a parent who wants to plaster our sweet baby's "va-giant" as Jovie once called it, all over the internet I'll just let you know that there is not doubt that this sweet thing is a SHE!  Following in the footsteps of her siblings, sweet #4 is proving to be just as high energy.  She gave the ultrasound tech a run for her money in an attempt to get all those tiny details of her heart.  The little wiggling minion wouldn't hold still.  

We managed to get one sweet 3D of her face, and I am in awe of the technology.  22 weeks and you can already see the details of her little face.  

 We did discover that, like her big sister, she has a single umbilical artery SUA.  According to research, SUA affects 1 out of every 500 pregnancies - so we find it very interesting that both of our girls had it, and that it affected 50% of my pregnancies.  All her early trimester and second trimester screenings came back absolutely perfect though, so no worry about chromosomal issues.  The only thing they will watch closely is her growth this pregnancy, because she only has one artery in that umbilical cord instead of the normal two.  So far she is right on track - weighing in at 14oz.

And while 2D images are so 1990's this mama does adore a sweet profile shot…The nifty looking bubbles that it looks like she is "blowing" is actually just looks of umbilical cord.

 Almost every single image that we got, has her little face covered with umbilical cord.  Apparently I have a low lying placenta, and she was laying right next to the placenta so there was lots of cord in the way.  As a RN, I appreciate the amazingness of that umbilical cord, even if it is covering her face.  But goodness those lips, and tiny nose.  Yes, I am in love.  Absolutely.  Plus, how cool is it to see that cord so clearly.  The one that connects her and I, sustaining her.  Yes, pregnancy, even with baby #4 is so absolutely amazing to me.

I brought balloons home as a way to tell the kids our news.  They opened up the box.  Ryk said "why did you get  balloons?"  Then he read the big one that said "a new little Princess" and he shouted "HEY GUYS, our baby is a girl!"  as he grinned. Then he said, "well I guess it won't be boys rule, girls drool in this house after all."  After running around the house like wild with balloons for a few laps, he continued to wrestle with his brother.

Kip said "You gotta huge belly, and inside is a girl like YOU?!  She will come out and be like JOVIE?  Oh man!"  Nothing but sheer honesty from my favorite 4 year old.

And out little Jovie, her face in these pictures totally capture the moments when she found out.  So tender, and sweet.  I can't wait to see her in the role of big sister.

We are so blessed, and so very thankful.

College degree = baby

Ryker was born October 2006, and two months later Paul defended his master's thesis, earning his Masters of science degree.  If you know anything about graduate school, first the classes are rigorous, and secondly a thesis is a lot of work.  Doing this, in itself, is a huge deal.  Add in a wife AND a newborn baby while in the midst of it all = pure chaos.

But my Mr. went a step above on the overachiever list.  Wife, newborn, working to support us all AND he blazed through his Masters degree at world record speed, finishing what is normally at least a 2 year program in just 1 year.  Despite his busy schedule demands including working, studying, and writing his thesis...he rocked fatherhood and never missed out spending time with his favorite priorities = us.  Precious moments of thesis writing paired with a one week old newborn to snuggle, always makes homework time less dreary.

*****
In August 2009 I finished nursing school while growing baby #2.  Yes, I had to rock converse shoes my last week of clinicals because they were the only shoes my swollen feet could fit into (not exactly dress code, but you gotta do what you gotta do)

 At graduation I walked up to get my nursing pin with 6 day old Kip snug in a sling next to me.

I studied for my boards while snuggling this new little man, practicing those recommended 1,000 NCLEX questions to prepare.  Despite a sleepless night prior to the big NCLEX exam, I passed and was officially Kristina Loprinzi, RN less than a month after Kip's birth.  This same year I forced myself to complete school at OHSU, earning my BSN degree the same month Kip turned 1.  What a whirlwind year.

Paul was also in grad school during 2009, he was busy working full time, taking courses towards his PhD, being an amazing husband/daddy as well.  We sure have perfected the art of multitasking - study with a baby snuggled in your lap.

Most PhD students take at least 4 years to obtain the degree, some even need to go on and complete post-doctoral training to better prepare themselves for work as a PhD.  But my Mr., again was a HUGE exception.  He blazed right through.  In usual Paul fashion, he finished his PhD one full year earlier than usual.  I've never met a more motivated, hardworking person, ever.  He even managed to do this all while we added to our family.  Jovie was just 2 weeks old when she went with me to attend Paul's dissertation defense for his PhD in exercise physiology March 2011.  Later that year he accepted a job offer at Bellarmine, and so we moved across the US, away from family when Jovie was just 5 months old.

*****

and...

we will welcome Loprinzi #4 a few weeks before I graduate with my masters of science in nursing degree and take my exam to be an APRN (which also happens to fall days within my 29th birthday - the ultimate birthday gift)...and then there is a high possibly our family will be moving to another state (to be determined still - but I am certain we will end up exactly where we are meant to be…and if that place happens to be Oregon well that would be SUCH a blessing).

Apparently the only way the Loprinzi family rolls is to take on every possible HUGE life change that can happen, and bundle it up into a package deal!

Yes, summer 2014, it will be life changing, and good.  Regardless of where Paul's job will take us next, I know it will be perfect...because I always have him, and our little sidekicks by my side :).

Children are a reality check: Always.

Snow flurries, and 24 degree weather paired with three littles who refused to put on coats/hats/gloves to go outside and run off some pent up energy, created the usual happening around here during winter time in KY.  A couch full of clean, unfolded clothes sat people-less as the three littles ran around screaming.  The sound of bare feet hitting the floor assured a run-fest among 3 wild littles was occurring.

They pleaded, "chase us mama, chase us."  So I obliged.  It is hard to resist them.


Amidst the chaos of three littles in need of running out some energy I heard the calmness of Norah Jones Pandora station playing in the background, enjoyed the flicker of the candle (the one Paul would have blown out if he was home, because he likes to do that), and the smell of baking brownies - little reminders of peace and calm tucked in the noise and chaos that comes with raising littles.  Despite it all, I couldn't help but smile, soaking in this ordinary, beautiful, mess of ours with these beauties...


A quick break from the running chaos for some goofy self portraits created those belly giggles that I want to bottle and keep forever.  They make silly faces, demand to see the back of the camera, and then fall to the floor laughing, pleading to repeat the process.  So I did, over and over.  188 times to be exact. We have a lot of goofy pictures to choose from now.

 When the excitement of self portraits wore off, it was an all out wresting match.  First two on one - the preschoolers join together to take down the school aged child.

It was all fun and games, until the oldest became a sore looser and pouted in the corner, ticked that "the babies beat" him.  The wrestling match quickly became one on one, giant preschooler vs tiny preschooler.  Kip was tender, and gentle with her, much different than the prior aggression he showed when wrestling his brother.  4 years old, and he already knows, girls need treated differently.  Proud mama moment.

The snack time,  smoothie spill in the kitchen and the resulting sticky floors prompted Ryker to ask about mopping it up.  "I'll do it later tonight, once you are in bed buddy.  I don't want to waste time that I could be playing with you guys, cleaning." He replied with "How about we all clean it up, that way you don't have to do it by yourself?"  Such a sweet fella he is, that boy.  So what was suppose to just be a little smoothie spill clean up, the three kids turned the mop job into a kitchen floor slip n' slide.  Zipping back and forth on soap suds, of which I'm sure aren't favorable to sit on the flooring in our kitchen for very long... but the memories they made, totally worth the potential damage to the floor, and the soaping wet trail from the kitchen to the bathrooms they left behind heading to get their evening showers/baths done.

After bath/shower time, they were exhausted, and hungry, and I made the mistake of blowing off dinner plans to enjoy a kid-planned afternoon/evening with them instead of being a responsible parent.  They all three synchronized their fussing, and fighting, and our beautiful afternoon/evening enjoyment tuned into sheer chaos.  Kip hit Ryk, Ryk hit Kip, Ryk said "I hate you…, Jovie was screaming I wanna EAT!"  and I lost it.

I yell, yes, yell - "can everyone just shut up and sit down at the table?"

Instantly my heart sinks, and they looked at me in shock and disbelief.  Ryker said "we don't say shut up in this family, and we don't yell it either!"  I didn't even try to make an excuse for my action…because my 7 year old was absolutely right.  It was a very humbling moment, which made me extremely quick to apologize.  See to him, the way I said it…yelled it...it didn't even matter so much what I said, (and yes I acknowledge it was terrible) it was the way I said it that stuck with him.  It shaped their impression of me, every single one of them.  I hated that.  I failed them.  I never want to make them feel like that, ever again.  Ever.

After an apology related to my outburst, and apologies all around to the deserving recipient from the hitting/hating/yuck that occurred in those 5 terrible, day ruining minutes of our hunger-induced melt-down, I saved the night by resorting to those homemade muffins sitting on top of the oven cooling, the ones intended for breakfast tomorrow.  Muffins, yogurt and fruit.  Not dinner-like at all, but most definetly was a win-win.  A guaranteed mealtime of no complaints, and full, content bellies.  Such a gift to this worn out, emotional, mama who was running low, and doing this parenting gig solo since Paul worked until 8pm tonight, such is the life of a professor.

We all snuggled under the electric blanket as we watched a show for 15 minutes to settle in before bruising teeth, reading books, and getting tucked in.  Kip said "I love you mom," Ryk was snuggled up under my right arm, Jovie on my left, and Kip off by himself at the end by all our feet, his choosing.  They all made a compromise on watching Peter Rabbit.  Finally, I get their teeth brushed, tucked them in, and turned the lights out right at 7pm for those crazy, exhausted preschoolers, who were more than happy to declare shut eye.  Then I had 45 minutes to spend with my firstborn little love, reading, talking, and doing homework.  I turned out his light, kissed him, and said -  "I love you Ryker, so much, always."

He says "I love you more.  So much love, the highest number you can count to"

I walked downstairs with tears.  As much as I fail at this parenting gig, I realize I am so infinitely blessed with amazing kids who accept me, and love me unconditionally despite my moments of failure. Parenting is the most humbling, amazing experience ever, and I feel so blessed to be given do-overs with them again and again, and for them to still look up to me with such love when I have these mama-fail moments.

*****
and on a totally unrelated note - I rocked a 3 mile run tonight, then ate McD's (because that makes a ton of sense, right?).  And then Paul nonchalantly told me, mid french-fry bite, oh I have a phone interview with Oregon State University TOMORROW.  As in, a it is a no big deal sort of manner.  Um….Insert kitchen dance party moment here.  So tomorrow at 9am (Oregon time) 1pm our time, is the phone call.  I asked him if he was nervous - he said "I am not.  There is not a reason to be."  We are so hopeful that this interview season will bring exciting opportunities for my Mr!

Spring term = busy schedule

Back to the grind.  Thankful that there are just 6 months left of this:

Monday - Clinical 8am-5pm
Tuesdays - class 9am-7pm
Wednesdays - mama/wife
Thursdays - mama/wife
Fridays - Clincial 8am-5pm, work 7pm-7am (yes that is correct, 24 hours on the go…hoping for an empty bed at work so I can squeeze in a 1.5 hour nap!)
Saturday - sleep 8am-4pm, dinner with my sweet family, then work 7pm-7am
Sunday - sleep 8am-4pm, dinner with my sweet family, then work 7pm-11pm (a mandated extra shift because the patient census is so high right now)

So my absence from this space is because I am either sleeping, eating, grocery shopping, cleaning, folding clothes, running, or fulfilling the roles of wife, mama, grad student, or RN.

How they are now...

#1 - Ryker, 7 years old.

He loves our nighttime talks, his mind racing from topic to topic, and he speaks so quickly as if he is afraid the time is going to end, right then.  No matter how many kids you have, you always make time for these moments.  One on one time with each individual kiddo, to know them, their little personalities.  He requests to have a family picture of us 5 at his bedside, and it makes me swoon.  As much as he is independent and seems to be so old, these little things he does make me realize that 7 years old is really, not that old.  He constantly asks what new words mean, and then uses them repetitively throughout the day, expanding his vocabulary at an incredible rate.  I was so amazed at the brain explosions when he was little, but seeing this level of learning in my favorite first grader, is amazing.  He reads chapter books fluently.  He got two for Christmas and had them read before school started.  My favorite is when he reads books to his siblings.  He is always asking me to give him math problems for him to "solve in my brain."  He got a Wii U for Christmas and is mastering the art of holding that controller.  When he masters some hard part of the game, his excitement is hilarious.  "YES, I did it, I finally did it."  He recently started wearing jeans on a regular basis, and the cute-factor of my oldest little in a pair of Levi jeans, adorable.  Minons, Ninja turtles, and skylanders are his favorite character things lately.  He wears size 6-7 shirts, size 6 pants, and size 11 shoe.

#2 - Kiplin - 4.5 years old.

He is my tumbler.  Always somersaulting from place to place, or jumping around.  He is rowdy, and fearless, and a run-around - boy.  Getting him to sit down and practice writing his name, or drawing has taken a lull for more upbeat things like playdoh and cutting paper into a million pieces with scissors.  I don't push learning right now, we just go with his pace, and right now his pace is to play.  I'm honestly okay with that because he is only 4 once, he has his whole life to be forced to sit still and learn how to write his name :).  He also says "K, is for Kiplin," and so is "P" and "I" but can't manage to put them in the correct order lately.  In November he had those magic three letters mastered to create his name KiP (he always would write in an uppercase K, lower case i, and upper case P), but then we took a 2 month lull in practicing and that has since gone out the window.  Thank goodness he still has another year at home to settle down before kindergarten starts, this rowdy boy is not ready for the strict schedule of the kindergarden class room just yet.  We are both just fine with that! He will say "I'm number 4, because I'm 4 years old.  On my birthday I'm going to be older, but I'm not older yet."  He loves playing with his foam bath letters, and can name all but 3 of them consistently right - my favorite is his struggles with the letter Q (referring to it as an "O that has a tail").  Tags in his clothes are an absolute deal breaker for him, and must be cut out immediately.  He builds legos like he is a pro, stacking pieces to create masterpieces that even amaze his big brother.  Airplanes are the favorite thing to build currently.  He is the pickiest eater in the entire world, and would sustain on goldfish crackers, Go-gurt, and fruit leather alone if he had it his way.  He wears size 4T pants, and size 5T shirts (his ginormous head forces us to buy a bigger size than he really needs, in order to get it pulled over his head without a big ordeal) and size 8 shoe.


#3 - Jovie - will be 3 next month!

I tickle her, over and over again.  She pleads "time out, time out, time out."  So I stop.  Then start again, because I love it all, her giggles, the way she says "time out," and then the way she wants me to continue it all.  She screams, from her crib (yes still in a crib) the second she wakes, in a not so nice manner.  "I awake, get me outta here, NOW!"  She loves pasta, but only the "Mini Mouse bow pasta" and can eat it every night if I'd make it.  She wants me to push her in that darn Little Tykes red car, "crashing fast."  The awkward height of the darn car make me sore from pushing it, but the way she looks when she pleads, she is hard to resist.  When she is mad she says "I like daddy better" and I am amazed that she has already learned the art of manipulation so young.  She's one month shy of 3, and I cannot believe it.  Little moments, like these, ones that are going to be so easy to forget, but seem so monumental to her and her personality at this moment in her life, these are the ones that I need to document.  She wears size 2t shirts, and size 18-24 month pants, size 5 shoes.

#4
This little life is growing, and I can feel movement more fiercely now.  I am 19 weeks along, which means almost half way done.  Pregnancy zips along at lightning speed with each new kiddo.  I like to listen to this little Loprinzi's heartbeat when I am at work - it usually runs between 155-170 bpm.  I have a feeling this baby is a girl, which means absolutely nothing, because I also thought Kip was a girl...I am eagerly anticipating the "BIG" ultrasound, but trying not to hurry the date to come either.  There is something so bittersweet about this being our last pregnancy, so I am savoring every moment of the "lasts" this time around.  Our last big anatomy ultrasound is Jan 27th and Paul and I are looking forward to going to this appointment solo, and then making a day long date out of the rest of the day - a huge treat for us both.

22 weeks out

I've been a RN for 5 years.

In this time I've mastered the basic nursing skills that once made me so timid in nursing school - starting IVs, drawing blood, interpreting lab values, inserting catheters, cleaning up bodily fluids, performing a nursing assessment... but nursing isn't just that.  It is so, SO much more.

As I am in the homestretch of my nurse practitioner program, and preparing to move on in my journey as an advanced practice nurse I wonder how my role will transform.  More importantly how this role will transform me, as an individual.  While I can say I am ready, oh so very ready, to step away from the exhausting days of bedside nursing, it is such a bittersweet moment.

I'll miss the wonderful men and women who I worked alongside for those tough 12+ hour shifts.  The co-workers who have helped shape me, teach me, and guide me in the direction of greatness.  I'll miss the beauty of the 3 day work week, and the options that come along with it - working days or nights, weekdays or weekends, or switching specialities because you just need a change…now.  Yes there are so many perks to the life of a bedside nurse.  But there are also the days when the 12 hour shifts are more than you can mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically handle.  The sort of shifts that make you feel so many more feelings than you knew possible.

Though it has only been 5 short years, it is a lifetime of memories gathered from situations I've been a part of.

• I've sat next to the bedside of an elderly patient, just her and I.  I held her hand and spoke things to her as she took her last breath, things that I'd want someone to speak to me when I'm at that place.  It broke my heart that she was alone, with an absolute complete stranger in her very last moments.  She was my first death, and will forever be a lasting memory.  I remember every detail of it all, even the moments as I tearfully prepared her body for the morgue.  
• I've sat with a husband as he tearfully said he last goodbye to his wife of 52 years, helped him to slip off the wedding ring she'd worn all those years and lend him support as he whispered last words to her.  
• I've broken ribs on 5 different patients while performing CPR - I remember ever, single, situation.  The way these patients once quiet rooms  turn chaotic in moments as soon as the code button is pressed.  I've made those dreaded phone calls to families, in a hurry, to inform them that they should carefully get to the hospital immediately to be here for those last few moments with a loved one.  
• I've seen babies born to families excitedly expecting them.  Rejoiced in new life with these families, and taken pictures of the special occasion.  
• I've also seen a young, single mama make the brave choice to gift another couple with her baby, the baby she carried for 37 weeks and 4 days, and loved, and read to every night from the time she realized the baby could hear.  She gave that couple the gift of a family, something they couldn't provide for themselves, despite her breaking heart.  
• I've been in the room as a family said goodbye to their 3 day old infant.  Then sat in these stunned parent's room as they talked through the unbearable choices ahead for their child.  Choices much different than the ones of which coming home outfit they would put their baby in.  Choices that included - to bury or cremate, to do an autopsy or not, to plan a big funeral or just a small remembrance ceremony.  
• I've carefully prepared hand and footprints, taken multiple pictures, and dressed a stillborn baby for parents who were too in shock to deal with life.  
• I've been in the room as an oncologist discusses the "C" news, for the very first time with a patient.  I've been there as the patient was told of a poor outcome, but could proceed with therapies in hopes of a more time.  I've discussed pros and cons of these options that now stood for this patient with her, options like chemotherapy, radiation, and getting a port surgically placed to administer these toxic treatments.  I've helped clean up hair, long, gorgeous brown hair from the hospital bathroom - that fell out in chunks as a result of chemotherapy treatment number 4 for a patient.  I cried there, in the bathroom with her, as she felt so embarrassed about this loss.  "It is just hair" she said.  Further describing this hair as such a materialistic thing, but something that gave her confidence and a smile.     
• I've done a dressing change on a patient with gangrene to his foot, whose toes fell off as I peeled away the dressing.  These toes that this patient desperately was hoping would somehow be cured of the gangrene, because this patient had already suffered an above the knee amputee on the other leg.      
• I've packed wounds so deep and massive that my entire hand fit inside this patient's body. 

I've been part of the lives of many people, and while many patients comment on their thankfulness for my care, they don't know how their situation changes and influences my life.  It is because of these situations that I've been forced to become involved in, that i have grown so very much.  I've done things; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually way more demanding than I ever thought I was capable of…and for that, I'll always be so thankful for this journey.  I am a different woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend because I am a nurse.

and that is the absolute truth about nursing, and the reason why this transition from bedside nurse to nurse practitioner is exciting, thrilling, nerve-wrecking, but most of all, so very bittersweet.

I'll take these memories with me, and continue to grow and change in my upcoming role.