boys

The greater good

I haven't been the master of this wife, mama, RN, grad school juggle at all.  Don't believe me, ask my husband.

There were more tears than smiles this term - granted given the crap shoot of the past month, I guess that was to be expected.

But yesterday evening I walked out of ethics class, with a smile.  Perhaps because it marked the end of my first year of grad school.  Also noteworthy - the point in which I am half way done, it is all down hill from here, baby.  Or perhaps the excitement stemmed form being so elated about never having to sit through another one of her ethics classes ever again!  I couldn't contain my relief and excitement, and so,  I did a mid air jumping heel click.  A stranger smiled, and gave me a high five, obviously moved by my enthusiasm.

There she is, that girl I know.  The one full of life, and happiness, and joy.  She's back.  

I'm getting there.  Day by day, one second closer to being done.

This time next year I'll be finished.  And it will be an amazing feeling of accomplishment.

Grad school has been the most selfless thing I've ever done, and probably will ever do.  I say that not to boast my own ego, but to be honest and transparent.  This was something I NEVER wanted to do.  Something that I, unfortunately, remind Paul too frequently of.  That will stop, because from here on out, I am committed.  Committed to finishing this thing, for me, for Paul, and for our sweet kiddos.  It is something that ultimately I've chosen to do, because it is for the greater good of our family.  No amount of blaming or feelings of resentment will make this situation better.

So for me, I'm choosing lemonade.  Because the lemons
of this past year have been sour, and bitter, and made me a lady I don't want to be.  I have a choice in this amazing life I've been gifted with...


It is to choose lemonade.  Always.  And to enjoy it with my Mr.

Four o'clock fire pit...just because

I'm trying to say yes more to their requests.

So when the heat and humidity gave us a break and R asked to make s'mores at 4:00pm on a Thursday, I said "brilliant idea!"  

While I'm no girl scout, I did manage to start a fire (and I may have sworn under my breath a couple of times in the process).  But his melt your heart, s'more caked smile was so worth it.  

Soaking up his last few weeks of summer break!

and goodness, we have a marshmallow diva on our hands.

 But her pout quickly resided once she had that tasty treat in her hands.  Turns out she is not a fan of s'mores, but girlfriend sure liked to eat each ingredient separate.

 K is not a s'more loving guy, and after the 4th of July took some convincing to join us around the fire pit.  He thought we were talking about fireworks when discussing if we should do this or not...and little man was NOT a fan of fireworks.  After peering out the back window and noticing that there were no loud booming noises or explosions, he was quick to join us.

smile worthy

Things that are smile worthy lately

• A rabbit in the ambulance bay at work

• My sweet family sending me off to work with porch waves and "BYE MAMA, LOVE YOU!"
• Finals week this upcoming week 
• Three glorious weeks of summer break
• Talking to my mom, gram and dad on the phone.
• Starbucks white mocha before work

• reflective window pictures

• Getting to leave work at midnight tonight

• Porch coffee date with neighbors while our kids play together
• My husband and his goofy long hair
• A tiny frog in the palm of my favorite 6 year old
• $2 package of army men, and an hour of fun

• A random flower that showed up in our yard

• Ice cream date at a local shop

• kisses for her

•  Mr. Muscles

There is something about summer, it draws kids outside, and neighbors together.  I like that.  Having no family here, I rely on my friends/neighbors.  It is community, and it is good.

She pulled her minivan up to my house, told me I am not good at relying on other people for help.  I'm not.  I know this.  She told me to send my boys over.  They were soggy, and enthralled with a slip n' slide, so her middle little jumped out of the van and joined mine.

"send him home whenever"

A broken slip n' slide yielded a transition of houses.  So we all headed over.

It was so, so good.

A simple KY afternoon.  Mama talk over cookies, coffee and hazelnut creamer, and frequent interruptions by 6 little loves.

Her kids are the same age as mine.

Sometimes you just need that.

Happy mail

The brown truck delivered smiles, a box, and hours of fun for these three.  These pictures below just make me laugh, so very typical of their little personalities.

Thanks to angry birds star wars version, my Ryk was exposed to Star Wars.  P and I are not Star Wars fans at all, so this is new for us.  Because neither of us have seen any Star Wars episodes (nor want to) I decided to motivate R in his summer reading we'd go on a hunt for a Star Wars book at the library.  He's been breezing through picture books all summer, and since we couldn't find more than 5 picture books about Star Wars, I suggested to look in the "big kid" section of the library.  My sweet 6 year old is amazing me with how much he is learning this summer.  He ventured out into the world of chapter books this summer, and is rocking them.  So far he's read 2 chapter books - both about Star Wars, the first one was 99 pages...and he was just so proud after he finished it.

Anyway, a Skype date with his Nana must have revealed his love for Star Wars and every thing he has been learning about, because less than a week after finishing up this book, she sent these 3 light sabers.  They are LOVING them.

During light saber wars, they are never R, K & J...instead they take on the roles of Anakin, Luke, Darth Vader, Storm Troopers, etc.  My sweet little lady always is Darth Vader.  She even talks all creepy like when pretending to be Darth Vader, which gives her real props in boy world.  She must know if sister wants to hang with the boys, she's got to have swag.

 This is the first "toy" that all three have been so happy with, and play so well together.  The question remains, how long will it be until someone breaks their light saber and spoils the fun...

For now, it is one wild light saber war around here.

Monster snot

While I am here, wishing the next two weeks to blaze by, as it will be the close of my summer term of school.  I am reminded to sit back and enjoy these moments.  To set aside the worry of all that I have left to get done before finals week, and enjoy these kids while I am home with them.

To gear me back into mama mode, savoring every moment of them instead of worrying about what I need to do for school, I've created a summer 2013 bucket list with help from my trusty side kick R.  Creating this bucket list together reminded me of the precious weeks that I have left before the close of R's summer  break and the start of my favorite first born's, first day, of first grade.

So we got busy, and a few days ago checked one item off the bucket list.

He wanted to make "monster snot"



and so with a bit of searching, I decided that this would be a good activity.  Two ingredients, a bowl and spoon, some food coloring, a bit of a science experiment, and the final result... "monster snot"

It was a hit.

Like a mush monster snot between your fingers for an entire hour sort of hit.  Which, if you know my kids, doing anything for more than 10 minutes at a time is success.

 and their smiles, and the giggles...it was worth the mess and ruined clothes.

Yesterday

The heat index made it feel like 104 degrees yesterday.  So we made a day of it.  10am and we headed out to play in the water.

 She, loves her new suit.  I love the price - clearance rack, size 12 months, $2.

bullets = busy life

• K's face when he splashes while playing in the water outside
• R's face when he does something stellar in swim lessons and peeks over to see if I was watching (of course I always am).
• Writing out my frustration of this term in a course evaluation for a certain professor that I'm not a fan of
• Volunteering to pick up extra at work and then getting cancelled last minute.   
• Wearing skirts

Monday mood changer

I left for school at 8am today, leaving behind crying kids who just want their mama.   Everything about it made me hate that I voluntarily signed myself up for grad school, committing myself to homework and clinical hours until August 2014.  After being at work all weekend and missing out on family life, I just want to stay home and soak them all up.  Going to school every Monday is a drag.

Anyway, I got to school, got 100% on a quiz I did zero reading for.  That gave me a smirk on my face.  Take that assessment course, musculoskeletal system can't beat this new-ish ortho RN.

I was feeling pretty snazzy until the professor asked about how our pediatric clinical placements for next term were going...

At my school, we have to find out own clinical placements.  This resulted in me calling 38 different pediatric sites to see if anyone was willing to essentially teach me to assess pediatrics for free.  And not just for free, but to teach me for 130 hours over the course of 10 weeks.  Most places instantly said no, before I could even get out my entire rehearsed "please precept me, I'm fabulous, I love kids, yadyadyadyada"

So when my professor asked this morning, I had to say..."I'm the cool kid in class that CAN'T find a placement."  And not having a placement = not continuing on in school.  So I asked about dropping down to the education track and quitting the NP program...I'd still get a master's degree, just won't be able to practice as a NP.  She said "that is so, so silly, you are brilliant and it would be a disservice to people in KY if you quit"  Totally not making this up, she did say this.  Now I'm not sure if she is just saying that because she doesn't want me to quit (because than it would make the numbers look bad for that school), or if she really meant it.  I'm hoping she really meant it.

So, I cried in the car.  Because lately I am just a walking mess, feeling defeated in general, and this stupid preceptor issue was just the breaking point.  I've spent hours making phone calls, and dropping off resumes.  And so then, right there, in my blazing hot car, I yelled.

Like crazy lady, yelling, seriously.

"I'm done.  If a preceptor doesn't call me, I'm done trying."

Before I could settle down from my mini-meltdown, my phone rang.

Seriously.

I got married in a church August 20th, 2005, and haven't been to one sense.  Perhaps I need to, or perhaps it is just the universe aligning for me.  Either way, it was amazing, and just what I needed after this past crap-shoot of a week.

I can tell you, of those 38 clinical sites I called, after I gave up, I instantly got two phone calls back in return.  TWO.

So, maybe I'm trying to hard.  Maybe I worry too much.  What I do know is that today, Monday, is the start toward a positive mood shift.  A much needed one (don't believe me, just ask my husband).

The rest of the day went like this: received lots of text messages from my Mr. with pictures of my kiddos having a lovely day with him (running at the track - R did 3/4 of a mile, K&J did 1/2 a mile, and then made the pole vault pit their own trampoline), I accomplished a LOT of homework (much needed after my last week of screw-life-cause-it-sucks-right-now-behavior which resulted in me checking out of anything school related), busted out a hard 6 mile run, spied on my sleeping kids once I got home from school, smooched my husband, ate DQ blizzards, and watched trashy TV (The Bachlorette if you must know).

Things are on the upswing, and this is good.  

rained out 4th of July

This 4th of July, was swell because I didn't have to work!  

But...it rained.

All day long.  Bucket, and bucket of rain.

Non-stop.

So we waited for when it was just a sprinkle instead of a downpour.

The rain didn't sour her mood...(and she wore this same dress on the last 4th!)

K was all excited for the festivities, he even picked out a rocket firework at the stand as his very special firework.

But it surprised him when it flew up to the sun, and K bolted indoors.  It scared him to death, and ruined his firework experience.  As former Oregonians, we just expected fireworks that stay on the ground.  This rocket, well, it would be considered "illegal" in Oregon, and so neither of us were expecting it.  Poor little 3 year old man.   He spent the rest of the time hiding out inside.  No amount of convincing would get him back outside.

and keeping with tradition - the "farting firework."  I couldn't help myself when I spotted this picture, I had to find the comparison from a few years prior.  After a bit of searching...He has that identical, melt-your-heart-cheese-ball-smile.  My sweet R, with his dragon farts firework.

                                July 4th, 2013                                              July 4th, 2010

J was a huge fan of sparklers and pop its.  She cried when we ran out.

and my Mr. dressing super classy in his business shirt, basketball shorts, and Nike shoes.  That boy, he is a goof.

R thought he was pretty hot stuff jumping over the "dead" fireworks.

Catepillar cuddles

Life around here is busy with caterpillar adventures.  Little lady spotted the "worm" moving in the grass.  

She quickly recruited R, who was on his bike, to survey the scene.

In no time J swooped him up.  Fierce and feisty, my little lady.  She was the only Loprinzi kiddo who was bold enough to hold such a "scary critter"

R almost built up the courage to hold it, but one finger touch was all he was comfortable with.

 

 J wanted to keep it forever, and ran around to gather some rocks and sticks to "make a 'pillar a fort"

K was all business, too busy mastering the art of pedal pushing, to even bother with the catepillar silliness.