It was a long shot, the application for this position. But it was in Oregon, it was "home." He wasn't even selected for an interview. Infuriating to me, and I'm not even the one with the ridiculously impressive CV (resume). Disappointment crept in. I was feeling blue, and bummed that apparently Mississippi is our place (permanently?) or at least for another year. This lonely state, filled with little support, few friends, and nothing to do. Poor me.
*****
Then he sent me a text message later that day, of Hartley's belly. Huge rash.
I called him back, asked how she looked, how she was breathing. He was freaked. "Get home fast, she's making me nervous."
I left work abruptly. Ran to the pharmacy section of Walmart and grabbed Benadryl.
Then proceeded to run out the store. Yes, I stole the Benadryl. Not on purpose, but I was just rushing thinking of my girl and left without paying. I'll remedy this not paying part, obviously. While I'm on the subject of law breaking, I'll also report that I ran all the stop signs in my neighborhood. Twice, yesterday. I don't regret either - the Benadryl stealing or the stop sign running.
Anyway.
We get to the ER as she started coughing and wheezing. I get nervous - we live in a small town, with a small hospital that doesn't have a pediatric unit. The closest Children's hospital is close to 2 hours away. I text a few trusy, local resources (a physician and NP) and they both reply back quickly, both calling and texting things that were exactly what I needed to hear and do - "epi and Benadryl, don't let them leave you in the waiting room, demand to be seen, listen to her breathing, look at her throat."
At the ER they gave her meds and fluids, kept her a while for observation, and sent us on our way. Stated she will likely be a kid who needs to have an epi-pen at all times in case of this happening again, and will likely need allergy testing.
Here is the progression of the human baby "hive." Bottom left picture her whole back, belly and neck was just one huge hive. Clearly after epi, things quickly turned for the better as shown by the bottom right picture of our wild baby trying to bust out of the ER. She was a wild thing after they gave her all those meds.
We've thought about what could be the cause. Over and over.
No idea.
*****
Today has been exhausting, and tear filled, and a day I NEVER want to re-live. Ever. But at the same time, it has been just so amazingly good for my soul.
I thought that the rejection email about the Oregon position was a super low point, that being "stuck" here in Mississippi for another year without friends and support was the worst thing ever.
But then my baby went and had a near anaphylactic reaction on me. That, well, that is the worst thing ever.
It is all about perception, in life.
There are far worse things in the world than not living where you necessailry want to: prime example, today's terrible adventure. Yes, my heart will always long for the PNW. But if Mississippi is where we are staying, well than I'll make the best of it. I'll save up for yearly trips home, Skype and call more frequently, and make an effort to make and nurture friendships here.
*****
She is recovering nicely, but having a wild baby recovery. Steroid/benadryl induced crazy paired with sleep deprivation, and intense itching. And I couldn't be more thankful and relieved to have this little crazy human, back home, and breathing well. It's been a stressful last few days. Praying this NEVER happens again.
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