I remember being his age and thinking, "30 is SO, SO old, as well.
But I'm here. 30. And while my joints remind me that 30 is not 16, it really doesn't feel as old as my 8 year old imagines.
I didn't have a party…being a stranger in a state that doesn't feel like home does that.
In fact, I didn't even have cake. Because I'm the party planner around here, and I was not going to plan my own party.
Instead, I worked. 11 hours. Because...adult life. I did get surprised with some pretty flowers, hand delivered, by my Mr!
I don't say this for a pity party, I just am being honest about the reality of life in the middle of no where Mississippi. Where family is far, and friends have been hard to come by. Where I'm a full time, working mama. I'm in that phase of life that most 30 year old women just can't fathom.
I'm an outlier most places, but I really feel like an outlier here...
4 kids
Married almost 10 years
full time nurse practitioner
All this with our closest family members living clear across the US.
This is just so vastly different than the Mississippi way of life. My coworker said -
I just can't fathom how you do it. See, this is the deep south, with old time values. Where women stay home, raise their babies. Clean the house. Have supper on the table each evening every day. Where extended families gather on a weekly basis for big family dinners - usually Sundays. Where church is a Wednesday and Sunday event, and you never miss. Ever.
And this isn't just one coworker's perception, this is the way of life I've grown to know from the people I talk with - patients, other coworkers, neighbors.
Not a bad life at all, the Mississippi way. Just so, so different than where we are at.
Mississippi life, just doesn't feel home, yet.
My life is a balancing act. Each piece fine tuned to make this all work. When one piece is wonky, the act comes tumbling down. To be honest, I haven't made real dinner since we've moved here. Our house is still very much a house - I've done nothing to make it a home. Pictures are still in boxes, walls remain bare.
We are 10 months into the Mississippi gig and every ounce of me is clawing for a way out. I know I felt this exact same way in Kentucky…but at least at this point in Kentucky I had friends. See, being a nurse does that. You work 12 hour shifts, with amazing people, and they just become your people. Friends that bake you a cake on your birthday, include you in girl's night out, bring you a bottle of wine to work just because…but my people are in Oregon and Kentucky.
I've been so busy here the last 10 months - just trying to keep everything at home together. Getting my NP license and transitioning into a rather intimidating and somewhat overwhelming professional role, switching jobs 3 times, finding multiple babysitters, dealing with the mama guilt of leaving my babies to be watched by someone else, transitioning into the role of full time working mama, and adjusting to the small town/slow moving way of the south…and I know this probably sounds petty and like it isn't much, but it just has felt like a LOT.
So, yeah, turning 30 in Mississippi…well, I guess it is just finding me in a place of tough transitions.
Cheers to 30, to finding my place…in this strange place. To growing as a wife, mother, and woman. To continue seeking to be more optimistic, outgoing, level headed and strong. To focus on the good I have, here, even if it is in the middle of no where Mississippi.
This is just so vastly different than the Mississippi way of life. My coworker said -
I just can't fathom how you do it. See, this is the deep south, with old time values. Where women stay home, raise their babies. Clean the house. Have supper on the table each evening every day. Where extended families gather on a weekly basis for big family dinners - usually Sundays. Where church is a Wednesday and Sunday event, and you never miss. Ever.
And this isn't just one coworker's perception, this is the way of life I've grown to know from the people I talk with - patients, other coworkers, neighbors.
Not a bad life at all, the Mississippi way. Just so, so different than where we are at.
Mississippi life, just doesn't feel home, yet.
My life is a balancing act. Each piece fine tuned to make this all work. When one piece is wonky, the act comes tumbling down. To be honest, I haven't made real dinner since we've moved here. Our house is still very much a house - I've done nothing to make it a home. Pictures are still in boxes, walls remain bare.
We are 10 months into the Mississippi gig and every ounce of me is clawing for a way out. I know I felt this exact same way in Kentucky…but at least at this point in Kentucky I had friends. See, being a nurse does that. You work 12 hour shifts, with amazing people, and they just become your people. Friends that bake you a cake on your birthday, include you in girl's night out, bring you a bottle of wine to work just because…but my people are in Oregon and Kentucky.
I've been so busy here the last 10 months - just trying to keep everything at home together. Getting my NP license and transitioning into a rather intimidating and somewhat overwhelming professional role, switching jobs 3 times, finding multiple babysitters, dealing with the mama guilt of leaving my babies to be watched by someone else, transitioning into the role of full time working mama, and adjusting to the small town/slow moving way of the south…and I know this probably sounds petty and like it isn't much, but it just has felt like a LOT.
So, yeah, turning 30 in Mississippi…well, I guess it is just finding me in a place of tough transitions.
Cheers to 30, to finding my place…in this strange place. To growing as a wife, mother, and woman. To continue seeking to be more optimistic, outgoing, level headed and strong. To focus on the good I have, here, even if it is in the middle of no where Mississippi.
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