Job change

8:50am, and I’m home 30 minutes later than usual from work.  A new transition to an electronic charting system at work is the blame.  The overtime and bonus pay will be nice, however no amount of money replaces those 30 minutes that I missed with these kids of mine.

I walk in the door, she grabs my hand, says “lets go find Woohoo”

I’m not sure what or who this “woohoo” she speaks of is.

But she is cute, they way she grasps my thumb with her tiny hand melts me.

My sweet, sweet girl that I am so lucky to have.

He leaves me love notes.

Everywhere.

“I luv you mom”

Written in his perfect 6 year old handwriting.

On the shower wall, or post it note surprises in my lunch box.

Can I just keep him 6 years old forever?

Because I love this age, I do.

Middle little says lets “quay hide-n-seek, and have blankie snuggles”

His cuteness is impossible to resist.

And even though I know I should take advantage of sleep, since I just got home from working 12 hours of night shift and have to return again tonight…

I indulge. 

In them.

Every second with them is worth the lack of sleep.

But I’m also learning that a person needs stability.  I can’t keep flip flopping days and nights so frequently anymore.

Which is exactly why I am choosing to leave my current job. 

The job that I dreamt about while in nursing school.  The one that motivated me to deal with those long hours of studying, stressing and then taking exams while in nursing school.  I always wanted to be a labor and delivery/mother baby nurse.

And I am one.  But just until March 23. 

I have mixed feelings about the job switch.

HUGE mixed feelings.

I’ve loved this past year of work – except for the scheduling issues.  I love my girls at work.  So much.  It is amazing the bonding that occurs between two women when forced to hang out for 12 hour shifts 2-3 times a week.

But my future role as a nurse practitioner, and my family will benefit so much from this job switch I am about to make.

So I’m diving in.  Head first.  Without regrets.

My 48-minute commute time will be cut in half.  Which equals a lot more hours in a week that I will regain to raise my children.  To mother.  To be a wife.  To do what my heart loves.

Which will always trump what my RN heart wants.  Always.

I’m so thankful and blessed that I was an RN who was able to see families born everyday.  But I’m even more thankful that nursing allows for changes to accommodate needs of families all the time. 

Goodbye dream job. 

I’m stepping forward, in hopes that my real “dream job” is still out there.  Having faith that this NP thing is going to work out.