Fearful

Lately I have been fearful.

Fearful of these damn tornados, why did we have to pick to live in a state with tornados?  I asked my coworkers if they were fearful of them, thinking that maybe it is just the "I'm new to this sort of natural disaster worry."  I was hoping that this fear would diminish just like the fear of the natural disasters we faced when living in Oregon - you know, volcano eruptions, earthquakes, and tsunamis.  But I'm told by KY natives that the fear is always there, and when tornado season comes having a weather radio is a must...and even with one there are many sleepless nights because of the fear that those darn weather radios won't work.  I don't understand why it isn't just a standard for homes in tornado prone areas to have bedrooms built in basements, leaving the living space for the 2nd story of homes...That way if a tornado strikes during sleeping hours, at least people are sleeping in the safest part of the home.  My biggest worry is that my babies will be tucked in bed sleeping upstairs, or that I'll be away from them and won't be able to keep them safe, or that they'll be at school...sigh.  So I'll put that on my dream home list someday - should we make KY our permanent residence - bedrooms to be built in the basement!

Fear that I'm not giving my kids enough.  Enough time, love, patience, learning, discipline, attention.  I just want to do right by them, every moment of everyday.  Sigh.

Fearful that we will pick the wrong location to purchase a home.

Fearful of choosing the wrong job.  Fearful of screwing up at work.

Fearful that we will send our kids to the wrong schools.  Fearful that I have a school aged child to send to school this upcoming August - how in the heck did that happen?!

It sucks, being a grown up sometimes.  So many choices, and with that, so many worries.

and I sound neurotic.  I feel neurotic lately. 



But this is just a season, and soon enough tornado season will pass, and we'll have made these hard to decide life decisions and...

it will get better.