Enjoying

He is acting like his almost 2 year old brother, for the millionth time today.  He'll be 5 in October.  Not cool. 

So today, I am practicing patience, just like yesterday, and the day before.

He is teaching me, more than he thinks I am teaching him (or trying to teach him).

Teaching me to be a mommy, everyday teaching me to be better.

I see the small victories. 

When he refuses to practice writing letters, or learn his address, or about what to do in an emergency I am amazed that...

Outside he will write anything I ask, sidewalk chalk makes it so much more fun.

Or when that ambulance drives by while we are in the car, conversation sparks.

Me - "What would you do if mommy was hurt and needed help when daddy wasn't home?"

Ryk - "I'd call 911 and say, my mommy needs help, and tell them where we live."

Me - "Where do we live Ryker?"

-he perfectly recites our address.  

The address I was trying to teach him one day, while discussing emergency situations.  He kept saying "well I don't want to learn it, I'm just 'gignoring' you."

Me - "Ryk it is IGNORING, not gignoring."

Ryk - "ugh, I say it is gignoring, so it is gignoring!"

I admire his strong will.  I gave it to him, so I better.

Soon he will start soccer, and other activities too.  Soon we will figure out what we are doing about preschool.  

Oh.my.goodness how did he get so old?

*****

He wakes up, several times each night.  He'll be 2 in a couple weeks.  Not cool.

He has way more energy than I know what to do with.

 But he is kind, and gentle, and loving.  He hugs and kisses, and loves to the moon and back.

*****

She is tired, but refuses to sleep.

*****
and between the three of them, I am sleep deprived.  I have been sleep deprived for the last 4.5 years, and I don't see it changing anytime in the next 18 years.

I am told it is beyond 18 years, since a parent never does stop parenting.  Always wondering, worrying, and thinking about their babies - whether they are 5 months, 23 months, 4.5 years old, or 26 years old...

But we have them, our 3 little loves.  Having them is worth it all.

*****

So when she is still up partying at 11pm tonight, instead of wishing her to sleep, I'll sit, stare, enjoy, and cherish these moments.  Soon she'll join in on the 7pm bedtime routine.  Soon she won't be nursing from 7pm until 10pm at night. 

Soon she won't need me so much.   

And despite needing caffeine on a regular basis in order to function, I don't want soon to come.

So instead of wishing it away, I'll sit and enjoy it.  Every bit of it.